16th Aug 2008

Things I Hate

I was lucky enough to find this post, I posted it back in 2005.

  • Social behaviour
    1. people who can’t take hints
    2. people who give hints so subtle they’re impossible to get, and then complain that people can’t take hints
    3. people who never give hints in the first place, and then complain that people can’t take hints
    4. people who swear at you in a foreign language, thinking that you can’t understand them, but you really can
    5. people who don’t respond in metric when you ask them about temperature, distance, or volume
    6. people who don’t respond in metric when you ask them about temperature, distance, or volume because they know you don’t know the imperial system
    7. people who try to look and dress like their idols as if it’s somehow going to make them cooler
    8. people who try to look and dress like their idols, and who wear T-shirts featuring the idol they’re trying to emulate
    9. people who think that everyone needs to go out and waste time doing nothing to have fun, and wont take no as an answer.
    10. people who think that going to the cinema with friends is fun. You’re not to talk to friends, or anyone for that matter.
    11. people who think that you need to swap secrets and promise that nobody will ever know, but then when other people find out, and you told nobody else about it!
  • Customer service representatives
    1. salespeople who have no appreciable knowledge of the product they’re selling
    2. salespeople who have no appreciable knowledge of the product they’re selling, yet try to fake it anyway
    3. repair technicians who refuse to accept your diagnosis of the problem, even though you know twice as much as them
    4. repair technicians who refuse to accept your diagnosis of the problem, even though you know twice as much as them, and then charge you for the quotation on the same diagnosis you made
    5. repair technicians who refuse to accept your diagnosis of the problem, make their own incorrect diagnosis, and then ‘fix’ the machine, failing to correct the original problem
    6. repair technicians who refuse to accept your diagnosis of the problem, make their own incorrect diagnosis, and then ‘fix’ the machine, failing to correct the original problem, and creating a new one in the process
    7. quick talking indians
  • Preachers
    1. druggies with an attitude
    2. non-druggies with an attitude
    3. ex-druggies with a mission
  • Gift-giving
    1. people who give you presents just so that you’re obligated to get them one in return
    2. people who give you a present you already have, and you have to pretend that you’re thrilled to get one
    3. people who give you a present that you don’t like, and you have to pretend that you do
    4. people who give you a present they know you don’t want, just so that they can borrow it from you later on
  • Clothing
    1. getting a big stain on your clothes just before you leave for work/school in the morning
    2. getting a big stain on your clothes just before you leave for work/school in the morning, and not noticing until much later in the afternoon when some kind soul has the discretion to quietly point it out to you
    3. getting a big stain on your clothes just before you leave for work/school in the morning, and not noticing until much later in the afternoon when people start pointing and laughing at you
    4. any name-brand T-shirts that are supposed to be cool just because they have a stupid slogan on them
  • Capitalism
    1. companies who try to make money off of dead celebrities by selling ‘commemorative’ stamps and dishes
    2. companies who try to make money off of dead musicians by releasing ‘greatest hits’ albums every couple years, with pretty much the same songs on them every time
  • Driving
    1. people who drive slower than I do
    2. people who drive faster than I do
    3. people who run through yellow lights when I’m trying to make a right-hand turn
    4. people who don’t get completely into the turning lane to turn
    5. people who don’t signal until halfway into their turn
    6. people who don’t signal turns at all
    7. when you start driving away from your house and three blocks later you realize you forgot something at home
    8. locking your car keys in your car
    9. locking your house keys in your car
  • Wording
    1. people who say “try and” instead of “try to”
    2. people who say “I could care less” instead of “I couldn’t care less”. If you could care less about something, then you obviously place some sort of value on it, don’t you?
    3. people who say “all but” as if it were an intensifier instead of a negative. Listen, you people — “all but” means “everything except“! If something was “all but destroyed”, then it wasn’t, repeat, was not destroyed!
    4. people who talk about “human rights” when they’re really talking about legal or constitutional rights
    5. people who talk about “human rights” when they’re really talking about privileges
    6. people who use “literally” as if it were an intensifier. “Oh, when I saw what she did, my jaw literally hit the floor!” Oh really? I don’t see any bruises there…
    7. people who use quotation marks as if they were intensifiers, especially on signs promoting “free” drinks or “real” ice cream
    8. improperly used (or neglected) apostrophes (‘cept when I do it)